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Friday, November 10th, 2006

(have fallen behind)

Subject:oh what the fuck
Time:3:30 pm.
uh jk. but i'm about to go to work.

at OTB.

I'm moving out with amber and randy.

in like 20 days to somewhere in dallas.

i think i want to go to hairschool.

then suddenly yesterday i had this huge doubt.

but also i was high.

but i realized i haven't cut or dyed hair in months. ever since i've been growing out my mohawk.

which i guess makes sense. but i used to live for that.

now i only think of dying my hair once a week.

but i bet if i dyed it. i'd get addicted again.

idk. i bet you make bank as a salon worker.

i just don't want to settle ever for a less than perfect life.

i want a loft. boyfriend. tattoos. everything. ah. i can't wait.

but should i go to school now?

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006

(have fallen behind)

Subject:you can almost here the sound traveling
Time:8:00 pm.
so i'm never on here anymore.

its all about the myspace.com/mymorningcigarette.

yep. that is all.

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

(3 died | have fallen behind)

Subject:new pics. yeah i haven't updated in...seriously a year.
Time:11:52 am.
Ok so I'm just updating my hair. Cause its awesome. haha and I'm thinking of going baby blue. any thoughts?

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Read more...Collapse )

Thursday, October 20th, 2005

(2 died | have fallen behind)

Time:9:38 pm.
Against me! november sixth!


Tuesday, July 26th, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Time:8:45 pm.
Mood: excited.
ok if we do this whole austin thing I'm thinking we should all pitch in like what five dollars each and rent a hotel for four nights and get super drunk and cry to each other about how horrible are lives are. Cause this IS texas emo kids...duh.

this was a very serious post I hope you know. But I can pick anyone up on the way from...Dallas.


Saturday, July 16th, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Subject:men cut marble to cut our graves...tell us we need something to remind us ...
Time:10:22 am.
Mood: nostalgic.
I love thinking back on those moments really worth living you know?

When youre having a super bad day and you think back on something truly euphoric it can make anything better.

Today I started playing fever and mirrors and it reminds me of being in austin and deciding I wanted to move there. Then that leads to me actually seeing Conor Oberst and being truly one of the happiest moments of my life. (sad but not from my point of view)

Some really shitty things can happen but knowing that there are more great things to come really makes life worth living.

I feel bad for those people that don't take chances. That just want to be safe. I'm about to make life altering decisions. If I choose the wrong thing I could end up in poverty for the rest of my life. Interesting right? I love having this much power over my life. Luckily I dont like drugs or expensive clothes. haha.

Yeah I'm trying to move out and I'm buying a new car. I don't want to end up screwing myself over, ya know? But it's exciting. I have to go buy the car at noon today. Hopefully I'm getting another oldsmobile. I love those cars. Then I won't feel so guilty for selling Roxanne. I can't wait to name my new car. heheheh ok i'm a dork. But this is exciting knowing these are the moments that shape your life.


So it's true the trick is complete youve become everything you said you never would be...youre a fool...youre a FOOL!

Monday, July 11th, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Time:6:36 pm.
x. Slept in your bed: brandon and millie or megan or me.
x. Saw you cry: my mom
x. Made you cry: my mom
x. You shared a drink with: megan at wendy's earlier
x. You went to the movies with: my mom
x. You went to the mall with: megan we guy shop
x. Yelled at you: megan had a rude tone with me...lol...no maybe nick.
x. Sent you an email: myspace

x. Said "I Love You" and meant it?: of course
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: no
x. Been to California: yes
x. Been to Hawaii: no
x. Been to Mexico: no
x. Been to China: no
x. Been to Canada: no
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day?: not that i can remember

x. Wish you were the opposite sex: yes it'd be cool to have a penis for a day
x. Had an imaginary friend: nope...i had a brother

x. Do you have a crush on someone: no i hate boys for the most part.
x. What book are you reading now: nothing...don't have enough money to get a book.darn cigarettes
x. Worst feeling in the world: wanting to kill yourself...
x. Future son`s name: johnny
x. Future Daughter`s name: sierra

x. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: last night bugs bunny i hear
x. What`s under your bed: torn up notes from 11th grade
x. Favourite sport to watch: volleyball or basketball
x. Siblings: my rad brother jeff
x. College plans: beauty school i'm thinking...or business school actually both
x. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: i fucking wish

current music: Sugarcult - memory (acoustic)

Friday, July 1st, 2005

(3 died | have fallen behind)

Time:3:07 pm.
Mood: restless.
ADDRESS: Royse City, Texas.
AGE: 16
GRADE: hell if I know
LIVING SITUATION: I just got kicked out of our apartment so I'm back at home with the mother.
NAMES: Jeffery
AGES: 18

HAIR COLOR: Blonde right now.
HAIR STYLE: It's wavy but I straighten it.
HAIR LENGTH: above the shoulders and below the ear
EYE COLOR: blue grey.
FRECKLES: yeahh.

COLOR: black red and green
RELATIVE: my aunt beverly!
TV SHOW: Once and Again, Popular, Real World, Degrassi, and Daria!.
CD: Anything by Bright Eyes.
MOVIE: Grind makes me laugh like no other, Princess Bride, Fletch.
COMMERCIAL: pashhhh.
BAND OR GROUP: Bright Eyes. and generation X
FOOD: mashed potatoes...its a good filler
ANIMAL: kittens
GIRL NAME: Sierra and Pixie
BOY NAME: Johnny
FEELING: Euphoria.
ICE CREAM: Vanilla!
VACATION PLACE: Austin, Texas. duh...or Dallas...hell yeah I vacation in my backyard!
MUSIC: rock n roll man yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! haha no um 77, garage rock, power pop, 80's WHATever
SODA: sprite.
GUM: icebreakers. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
WEATHER: fall, and summer

---Do you...---
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: eating too damn much
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: hell no. we hate each other.
SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?: i sleep with my cellphone.
LIKE TO DRIVE?: yes i fucking love it! yeah!
DRINK?: not necessary too often
SMOKE?: yeahhh.
ANY OTHER DRUGS?: say no to las drogas!
~SMOKES: everyone.
~DOES DRUGS: yeahhh
~WORSHIPS THE DEVIL: noooo or else i wouldn't be their friend ya know?
---Have you---
BROKEN THE LAW: yes plenty of times.
EVER CHEATED ON A TEST: no...well its not cheatin in my book.
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: yes but not by myself.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: yes like for a whole semester
PEED IN THE SHOWER/BATH: ew thast gross.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: nahhh it takes alot for me to sleep.
~ IN CLASS: once while i was drunk at lakeview...then i woke up so creeped out that i was snoring.
BEEN IN A FIGHT?: yeahhh
BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL: um when i was born.
CRIED IN PUBLIC: Yeah ive cried twice in public when i was really wasted.

---Which is better?---
HUGGING OR KISSING: kissing, what the fuck i dont want no damn hug....shiiiiiiiitttttttt
MUD WRESTLING OR JELLO WRESTLING: jello makes me think of amber's mom!

---When/what was the last...---
THING YOU PURCHASED: some hashbrowns from Denny's.
TIME YOU WERE GROUNDED: Yesterday...I told my mom to kick me out like whoa
WORDS YOU SAID: What? okay bye!
WORDS YOU TYPED: okay bye!
PHONE NUMBER YOU CALLED: Mandys well I put it in my phone to give to clay.
THING YOU ATE: crackers.
SONG YOU HEARD: Rush Rush (Give me YEYO!) by Debbie Harry.... I love dancing to that song
PERSON YOU SAW: my bro jeff
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER: a couple days ago from the bank if that counts
TIME YOU CRIED: two nights ago.

DO YOU LOVE HIM OR HER?: if i had one i prob would.
WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH?:Jeremy Goodgion...hehe he was dreamy...now he's a druggie
CURRENT CRUSH: this total asshole who doesnt see me more than just a friend. how fucking depressing. ha hilarious i didn't even have to change the wording
BEEN HURT?: everyday..jk i'm not that sensitive...i really don't give a shit about anything anymore!
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: so many things I could regret but...really. the list would be endless so ...I just don't care to regret it truly.
WHAT WOULD YOUR DREAM DATE BE LIKE?: A guy picks me up in his car and opens the door for me. Then he takes me to an acoustic show at Emo's then takes me on a moonlit walk to the lake. Then we get really drunk and We go back to his apartment where I'm really drunk and he tells me he really cares about me and loves me more than he's loved anyone else in his whole life and wants me to move in. And he has a really cute beard and is the nicest guy I've ever met and we fall in love and get married and go to shows everynight...and he takes care of me. ahhhhhhh...
CHEATED ON SOMEONE: yeah i've been stupid and i've been drunk.

ROLLERCOASTERS -DEADLY OR EXCITING?: boring...doesn't do anything for me. i get more scared driving with natasha down Greenville ave.
WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED AND IMPORTANT POSSESSION?: like if my house was burning down what would I grab? hmmm....I could really live without anything but I know the first thing i'd grab would be my contact shit. haha I love my contacts. Then maybe my concert tshirts...oh my pictures those are important.
WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU: ask for five more minutes then wake up and act normal...maybe a little drunk.
YOUR MOUSE PAD HAS ON IT: i drew all over it. it says incubus and eve 6 i think
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?:lots of posters and thingies.
THINKING OF RIGHT NOW: i'm pretty fucking bored...and i wish that that perfect date thing would come true.
WHAT DO YOU DO THAT REALLY PISSES OFF YOUR FRIENDS?:drugs...idk...nothing really...that i'm aware of...
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: being with a guy that likes me as much as i like him and being drunk...all at the same time.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET? maybe Rilo Kiley or Stray Cats.
WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU WANT?: a luxury car...only newer and dependable.
DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE?: i suppose. but i must not be cause i aint getting any boys. boo!
---Your thoughts on...---
ABORTION: Pro-choice
TEENAGE SMOKING: yeah i don't care about other kids but i do it.
EATING DISORDERS: wish i had one.
RAP: i listen to it.
PMS: horrible!
DREAMS: they creep me out and i want to know what they mean!
TRUE LOVE: i love love. wish i had some right now
WORSE FEELING IN THE WORLD: heartbreak. god.!
SPICE GIRLS: are u fucking kidding me, what kinda of question is this, uh POSH SPICE FOR LIFE FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!! COme on Come on!
RAPE: i know a couple kids that have gotten raped and i've been taken advantage of and i've taken advantage of guys...ok don't know where that was going
SUICIDE: doesn't solve anything.
SELF-MUTILATION: we all hurt ourselves some of the time.

its a holiday for a hangin'

Tuesday, June 28th, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Subject:I was taking sips up through my nose...I wish I could get back there someplace back there...
Time:2:52 pm.
I was just looking over my court papers...If I don't finish my community service in time I'll be put in jail for a long time til' I pay my tickets and 100 dollars a day for every day I'm in jail.

That would suck.


Monday, June 27th, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Time:4:43 pm.
Girl: hey baby i want to show you....
Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so mad
Girl: why? whats wrong ?
Boy: ugh everything
Girl: explain baby
Boy: just lost a championship game,
parents flipped out on me for no reason,
and im catching a cold
Girl: well hey there will always be other games,
you know ill take care of you when your sick,
what your parents flip about ?
Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repair
Girl: is it alot of money
Boy: no it just sucks
Boy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go lay down
Boy: bye
Girl: wait i want to give you some...
Boy: cant it wait til tommorow ?
Girl: yeah sure
Girl: bye
Boy: bye

2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go for a drive ...she goes.....

her friend swerved to avoid a truck....hitting a tree instead

her friend was killed instantly....shes in critical condition

This is the conversation between her sister and her boyfriend

Sister: omg ( crying )
Boy: what? whats wrong ?
Sister: my sister...your gf was involved in a major car wreck
Boy: is she ok ? ?????
Sister: shes in critical condition
Boy: i'll be there in 10 minutes

He shows up to the hospital room ...standing outside the door
going over the last conversation in his mind over and over as he
heard the machines beep and beep and breathing tubes pump

Boy: she wanted to give me something or tell me something
Girls mom: yeah this...

it was an envelope smelling like she did sealed with a kiss in lipstick

he opened it.....

it said ..... your everything to me....i love you with everything i am
and everything i have...i want to spend the rest of my life with you

sealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from the first movie they went to

and the first picture they took together

he kissed the picture as a tear fell from his face onto the picture

it looked as if in the picture she was crying

then the machines flatlined....3 minutes later she was pronounced dead

If you have any heart...any soul...or want to be happy you will repost this.
if you care for someone ...do not let something like this ever happen

Post this in the next 200 seconds and you WILL have THE best

day of your life THIS SATURDAY. You're number one *love* Will

either kiss you, ask you out, or call you or better. If

you break this chain you will have a lousy day on Saturday

Sunday, June 19th, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Subject:Every Night's another story...
Time:4:20 pm.
Life is being exciting right now. I did it again. I'm moving out. I got fired. I owe 400 for rent. Insane huh?

I don't know what to do. Oh well...I need a fourth roomate...why isn't everyone job/carless? People suck...especially you. ha. So bored. Love you guys


Monday, May 30th, 2005

(2 died | have fallen behind)

Subject:I'm slipping in between you and your big dreams...
Time:12:44 am.
Mood: melancholy.
This memorial day weekend was fun! Friday I went to deep ellum and worked at the door with Megan and made twenty dollars in tips (that doesn't sound good but it was for just serving water!). Then we went to the practicing studio with the band The Background and I went to sleep in my car. Then I woke up at five with Megan to go to community service...I think...was that whoa...that seems like it was today but yeah that was saturday morning. But it started raining. Then on the way home I got soooo lost. It was crazy...I was soo tired I thought east of Garland was Garland...yeah that's how tired I was...it didn't even make sense...I ended up in Richardson somehow. I didn't wake up Megan though...which was even funnier because she didn't even know we got lost til' we were home. Then Sunday we went to church and then to the practicing hall to ask for prices on the place. No one was there on a sunday sadly. So we went to Black Eyed Pea to get a job. Mehhh it might work out or something. Who knows. Then I went to her house and cut and dyed her hair. It's wayyy hot! Yes yes! Then I came home and played with my kitters and talked to Kylie about how I wanted her to tell josh I was sorry for being horrible but there were reasons behind it like being bitter and really hurt. I shouldn't of been with him under those conditions. They're still together though. I wonder why I'm never good enough to be in a real relationship. It kills me that I ruin everything good in my life. But I don't want to start a new relationship because I'm too damn scared. I just want to go back to old relationships and try to fix them because atleast I know that person and knowing another person...is just too hard and too much work and I'll just fail them too. I don't want to go through that for the rest of my life. I just want someone to make me happy and for once I want to make someone else happy too. It kills me that I don't...You understand right?

and I was thinking we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere...Collapse )

Monday, May 23rd, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Subject:I'm gonna get to the bottom of this...Gonna peel back my skin! and look at myself shaking n shiverin
Time:5:29 pm.
This weekend was the best.


I got out of church and called Megan and she was in Dallas so we met in Garland at the WalMart. Then we went to Deep Ellum and went to the tattoo shops and such. Then we went to Nick's apartment and hung out and went swimming then Nick got really high.Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Ha isn't that cute? My brother wouldn't get high because I was there I think. Jake was there and Alex and Jeff Patty and us people... Oh and before Jeff Patty got there me and Megan were all paranoid that Nick didn't want us there so we tried to jump over the fence in the back and he came out through the front and asked us WTF we were doing! It was so funny. So that's when we went swimming...yeah. Just me and Megan though because I think they were high ...then my bro came over. Then Jeff came over and we played Mario 3 on Nintendo. Ohhh yeahhh...Then we went to hang out with this guy Drew from the band The Background (http://battleofthebands.com/thebackground )VOTE FOR THEM FOR THE WARPED TOUR! And we went to University Of Texas in Dallas and it was THE GREATEST THING EVER! I fell in love! They had this art museum and Student Union ...ok all normal things but I just DID fall in love ...I don't know why. And then we played pool and ping pong. Then Megan's ex left her a mean message and it was horrible and gave me another reason to hate guys...it made me feel so angry for her. It was the best day I've had in years. Seriously...DEEP ELLUM AND COLLEGE IN ONE DAY! What more would I ask for? I got home an hour late for curfew. Like at midnight. But it was ok.

Then today was pretty mehhh...Jeff went and saw me after school but I was in a hurry because my mom left me this cryptic message and I was about to puke from worry. I hate her because she ruins my life more and more each day....oh well...I dont hate her hate her...I will hate her less when I leave.


Saturday, May 21st, 2005

(3 died | have fallen behind)

Subject:The Scent Of Your Hair That You Twirl In Your Fingers...
Time:2:38 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
Havent' updated in years BUTTT...here I go. Here's the summary of everything that has been happening.
Short Summary With Lots Of Photo's...Collapse )
I went to school late and did my makeup at home for an hour then drove to Brookshire's to get some cans for a the school TARDY DRIVE! Hahah bitches! I spent seven dollars on them ho's. Some other kids were skipping too getting cans..haha it made me laugh. Then second period we watched a Ronald Reagan movie. Nice. Third Talk to Cody about sexin' it up! Hahah not really. Fourth? Talked to Stevie and Jeff, watched a Cinderella Story. Fifth I hung out with Amber and laughed about her little cousin getting drunk I think. Sixth Jeff skipped after saying he didn't want to skip with me so ...another reason for me to stop talking to him...lol. We read Winter Dreams which I really like because I've already read it. Seventh I talked to Jerry about how to ask Jessica out. Then after school I drove to Megan's house and waited thirty minutes in her room waiting for her to get there. Then we left to go to the YMCA and I filled out a volunteer paper and they'll get back to me someday I guess. Then we went to Nick Roger's apartment but they weren't home. So we went to her grandmother's house which was funny. What cute accents! Then we officially ran out of things to do until 8:30. So we went to Outobaugh Park (sp?) and watched this Boy Scout ceremony and used the nasty bathrooms. Finally it was time to go to The Background's practice. It was right near Garland High School so I kind of knew where that was because it's close to the municipal court. I could only stay for an hour so that sucked. I was thinking of stopping by Nick's and Jeff Patty's Image hosted by Photobucket.com (MEGAN and JEFF Patty in the pic)party and Jeff Evans actually did I hear...haha. But I just went home even though my mom told me I could stay out thirty minutes later. I'm feeling so depressed lately. I think I'm about to go tanning but I just wanted to update before I go for another great day! Ha yeah right...I think I might be going swimming later with Megan. Maybe.

Friday, March 4th, 2005

(have fallen behind)

Time:6:48 pm.
Rachael and Johnny
  • Secretly conceived four related girls.
  • Intend to lovingly serenade each other as it mightn't lead to pregnancy
  • Have already picked out trendy names for servants.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

I think I'm going to pretend I have a boyfriend named Johnny from now on. It sounds like a hot greaser now don't it?


Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005

(1 died | have fallen behind)

Time:6:03 pm.
I made a friends list cut. Add me back if you want to be added back. Thanks!


Saturday, February 19th, 2005

(2 died | have fallen behind)

Time:7:10 pm.
backpackwedgie (11:17:29 PM): you
thomjp73 (11:17:39 PM): you!!!
backpackwedgie (11:17:44 PM): no
backpackwedgie (11:17:56 PM): so who are you going to prom with?
thomjp73 (11:18:15 PM): not kim
thomjp73 (11:18:26 PM): that's as far as i've gotten
backpackwedgie (11:18:28 PM): why not?
thomjp73 (11:19:05 PM): we decided that if i went with her, i'd probably be miserable the entire night
backpackwedgie (11:19:24 PM): why would that be?
thomjp73 (11:19:49 PM): cause i'd probably want to hang out with somebody else
backpackwedgie (11:19:59 PM): I see
backpackwedgie (11:20:16 PM): so is there anyone else you have in mind?
thomjp73 (11:20:55 PM): well...
thomjp73 (11:20:55 PM): no not at all
thomjp73 (11:21:32 PM): i know who i'd like to go with, but that's out of the question
backpackwedgie (11:21:41 PM): kk?
thomjp73 (11:22:05 PM): yep
thomjp73 (11:22:05 PM): you guessed it
backpackwedgie (11:22:10 PM): ah
backpackwedgie (11:22:36 PM): I was also thinking of saying sp, but you wouldn't know who I was talking about.
thomjp73 (11:22:46 PM): like hell i would
backpackwedgie (11:22:55 PM): haha, so you think
thomjp73 (11:22:59 PM): one stephanie puente?
backpackwedgie (11:23:03 PM): nope
backpackwedgie (11:23:07 PM): service pack
backpackwedgie (11:23:09 PM): nope
backpackwedgie (11:23:29 PM): sarah?
thomjp73 (11:23:44 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
thomjp73 (11:23:50 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
thomjp73 (11:23:56 PM): now i understand
backpackwedgie (11:24:02 PM): do you?
backpackwedgie (11:24:10 PM): so what about her, would you take her?
thomjp73 (11:24:32 PM): possibly
thomjp73 (11:26:05 PM): all the good ones are takne
thomjp73 (11:26:10 PM): *taken
backpackwedgie (11:26:28 PM): yeah, sorry, but I'm taken too
thomjp73 (11:26:46 PM): that's just sick jeff
backpackwedgie (11:27:37 PM): yes
thomjp73 (11:31:02 PM): guess i could just skip prom altogether
backpackwedgie (11:31:11 PM): nope, you can't
thomjp73 (11:31:35 PM): is it against the rules or something?
backpackwedgie (11:31:44 PM): yeah, kinda
thomjp73 (11:32:44 PM): <FONT COLOR="#00ff00" FACE="Comic Sans

Friday, February 18th, 2005

(2 died | have fallen behind)

Subject:When Angels Deserve To Die....
Time:4:04 pm.
Mood: busy.
Today was okay and never ending. I had a fucking mental breakdown yesterday but...oh well. It wasn't all that bad anyways.

After school I talked to Juan B. and Nick Rogers about my brother getting high with him all the time. Ewww gross! I'm never getting high again. Then I told them my mom was out of town today and they said that they should move it here. I was like...ask my brother he doesn't like it when I say it. So they did and he said no anyways. Hahah...funny funny. Now my brother is out of gas and we can't go anywhere. So I'm about to check all the coinboxes for quarters so we can go rent a movie or something nice. Or atleast go to Alex's or something.


Thursday, February 10th, 2005

(5 died | have fallen behind)

Subject:I Know I Can't See Past These Broken Dreams!
Time:12:28 pm.
I missed school today because I'm too damn sore. Now so did Amber and Sara so I have company online and I made Amber a journal like whoa! It's cute.

Now there's my hair...hot right..haha...

I feel so cocky in thinking...how the hell could Leo not like me anymore? He's a weirdo. Ok need to stop that now.


Saturday, January 29th, 2005

(4 died | have fallen behind)

Time:8:24 pm.
I just got sent to AEP so I might not be updating as much. There's an ongoing investigation on who did it to me. But they'll get theirs so don't worry guys. Like anyone is. But it won't be that bad and I'll get out early for good behavior. Love ya,


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